


Tomorrow's Song

by maevestrom



Series: Vildeblume Cafe Collection: FE Femslash July 2019 [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Bodyguard, Coffee Shops, F/F, Injury, Memory Related, Neurological Disorders, Permanent Injury, Politics, Starry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 16:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19834297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevestrom/pseuds/maevestrom
Summary: Fire Emblem Femslasm Week Day 3: GuardianNo matter what has happened to Emmeryn, she will always find a way to love her little belle





	Tomorrow's Song

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Maeve's Femslash Week project, the Vildeblume Collection! All seven of the upcoming stories will have the hub or launchpad of the fictional Vildeblume Coffeeshop. All of the pairings you will see are (mostly) cross-stories with a Fates character and Awakening character.
> 
> Note: This story will get into traumatic injuries, be advised.

I had… a dream… last night.

I was...

_ Where were you, Emmeryn? _

I…

I was… 

I was sitting on… the patio. 

The deck is... not the roof. 

_ So is it the ground? _

...no. It is… in the middle. 

Beruka nods understandingly.

I think…

Were it on… the roof… I would have died.

_ Oh.  _

_ Oh, I think I understand now, Emmeryn.  _

And were we… on the ground…

Emmeryn sighs.

I… wouldn’t… have… fallen…

\---

Emmeryn loses track of the words on the menu. The words enter her mind and then exit before she recognizes them. 

What are… you... having?

Beruka has not picked up a menu.

_ A single cup of oolong tea. _

Emmeryn giggles. 

That’s... what you had… last time.

Beruka nods with the slyest smile. 

_ I’m afraid that my habits don’t often change. _

It is… charming.

Beruka looks away. She is blushing. Emmeryn loves whenever she can get Beruka to blush. It means that she still has a little bit of power.

I might… get it… as well.

Beruka looks concerned. She probably knows.

_ If I may make a suggestion, my lady. _

Emmeryn nods. She tries to smile. She doesn’t quite.

_ I think that the grapefruit soda will be to your liking. _

Ah…

Beruka knows. When Beruka knows, she never says anything. Emmeryn is confused. Sometimes she is mad because Beruka seems to pretend that Emmeryn is all right. Sometimes she is relieved because when others know that she isn’t, they are very cross with her.

I will… try it.

Thank… you.

Beruka nods. Her smile is sad, but it is better than when she used to never smile at all.

A waitress comes by and trips over Emmeryn’s wheelchair. She was carrying drinks, and she spills them on the ground and onto Emmeryn. They are not hot, but Emmeryn’s dress is still soaked. They took an hour to get this on… is it going to be okay?

_ Are you blind? _

**I’m so sorry, madam.**

Beruka stands up. She’s defensive. She always was, ever since the two of them met. 

_ You could have hurt her. You can’t be so careless. _

Beruka never used to be angry when someone bothered Emmeryn. 

**It was an honest mistake. I’m usually never so klutzy.**

_ For your sake, I hope so. _

Beruka.

Beruka cranes her neck at Emmeryn. She smiles. Beruka should be angry enough to scare her, but she is just concerned. Beruka thinks that she should be angrier than she should be. 

Don’t… be angry.

I’m fine.

Beruka doesn’t seem satisfied. Still, she looks at the waitress.

_ Go. _

**My apologies again.**

The waitress goes to leave.

**I’m turning into my damn sister.**

Emmeryn sees a bit of ice-blue hair on the ground. She should have it in a bun. It’s cleaner. But it’s okay. No one’s perfect.

_ Are you okay, Lady Emmeryn? _

Just… Emmeryn.

_ Okay then. Emmeryn, are you okay? _

Emmeryn places a hand on her stomach where the dress is wettest.

I’m fine. Just… wet.

Beruka grabs a napkin from beneath a set of cutlery. 

_ Do you need to be dried down? _

Emmeryn thinks of Beruka touching her and giggles enough to start blushing. 

_ Emmeryn? _

I’m sorry! I’m fine.

Hee hee.

Beruka starts to blush again. Emmeryn wonders if she gets it yet.

Thank you… for taking… me.

_ It’s no trouble. I know that you enjoy places like these. _

I enjoy… you.

Emmeryn covers her mouth, eyes wide and playful. Beruka looks flustered. Little Belle.

_ I know, Emmeryn. I’m very thankful. _

That wasn’t what Emmeryn wanted her to say. But it’s ok. No one’s perfect.

Cafes… though…

They’re very… nice.

Emmeryn can’t remember what she wanted to order. Hopefully, she remembers by the time the right waitress gets to them. 

\---

Beruka plays music when they are driving. Her music is often cold, except for when there is warmth in the cold. The song is something dreary. Something of a journey. The sound of the street lamps passing one by out the car window. Beautiful by accident.

What is… this song… called?

Beruka waits for a red light. She is cautious, but she has a good memory. Then she looks at the phone in the dash that’s hooked up to the stereo. 

_ It is called  _ Anvil.

Anvil…

Emmeryn feels the weight of the word as it bounces around on her tongue.

Why is it called that?

Beruka thinks.

_ It is… heavy. The music drops a lot. Plodding. Thumping. Like if you dropped an anvil. _

Oh.

Beruka smiles. Emmeryn does too when she sees it. Beruka used to never smile. She used to never be satisfied with herself. That never sat right with Emmeryn. Not once. Beruka is kind. Beruka is intelligent. Beruka is beautiful. If Emmeryn had her way, Beruka would be satisfied with herself all the time.

Did we ever...

_ Did we ever? _

She’s glad when Beruka repeats her words. It helps her get her train of thought back on track. Beruka is so patient and kind.

I remember…

I remember us… dancing.

We used to… when no one… was watching.

Beruka blushes. Emmeryn didn’t expect that to happen, but she’ll take it.

Right?

_ You remembered correctly. _

That’s not the whole story, but Emmeryn decides not to press it. The song continues. It  _ does  _ thud and  _ does  _ drop and none of the songs Beruka listens to have words. That makes them easier for Emmeryn to remember. Not always the sounds. But the feelings. How  _ Anvil thuds  _ and  _ drops  _ and is heavy like an anvil.

I like… this song.

It makes me… think… of you.

_ I don’t recall if I’ve ever played this song before. _

Emmeryn giggles.

Me either.

Beruka is caught off guard so much that she slows down. Then she starts to giggle. It is so starry and pure and sincere. Emmeryn falls more in love the more she hears it.

It still… makes me think… of you.

\---

Emmeryn is resting on the couch by herself. Beruka looks at the door, sitting on the floor. Her legs are crisscrossed. Emmeryn feels… peaceful. Mostly. She also feels like something isn’t right. In the back of her mind, things feel… painful. Raw. They shout at her but are too muffled to feel. Emmeryn screws her eyes closed tighter, her wheelchair at the end of the couch like the feet that she cannot move. She can’t move below the waist. It hurts her heart whenever she remembers.

_ Are you well, Lady Emmeryn? _

At least Beruka is here.

At least Beruka keeps the wolves away.

I’m… fine.

The sun sets through the window. It happens earlier and earlier every day. The seasons must be going by… though Emmeryn can’t remember what month it is unless she really thinks. It’s all so timeless. Did she fall a few days ago or a few years?

All she knows is that she can’t forget that Beruka is her bodyguard.

It’s lovely… outside.

They live on the ground floor of a tower. The room is spacious and Emmeryn never has to leave her wheelchair unless she wants to. Beruka is probably working on dinner, but she also might not be. Emmeryn’s not hungry. Maybe Beruka is not. Emmeryn wishes she could cook for Beruka one of these nights but she can’t even read a menu. 

Beruka?

Beruka looks up at her with tired eyes. Now Emmeryn feels bad for disrupting her. 

Never mind. I’m…

_ Lady Emmeryn, you know that I am at your beck and call. _

Emmeryn sighs.

Yes… I do.

I just…

Emmeryn isn’t sure what she wants. Emmeryn doesn’t want Beruka to drop everything for her. She wants Beruka to keep resting crisscrossed against the arm of the couch, head near Emmeryn’s. 

Wanted… to know… something.

Beruka relaxes. Emmeryn is happy.

Have you… ever…

I suppose…

Emmeryn doesn’t like words. If only Beruka could hear her thoughts.

Had to… feel better… about... yourself?

Beruka nods.

What did… you do?

Because…

As words flow, thoughts follow, letting memories trail into an epiphany.

You used… to be…

So cold… strict… formal.

And then…

Beruka hums then smiles.

That’s… right.

You… never… smiled… either.

Emmeryn didn’t expect to cry. 

I… like that… better.

Beruka beams. It is lovelier than her blush. She’s proud.

_ I don’t suppose that there was a moment, Lady Emmeryn. It was more of a gut feeling. Everything was… diluted. _

_ Diluted  _ is a big word, but Emmeryn understands it.

Then?

_ I suppose… I realized that… with everything… _

She struggles to find the right words. She sounds like Emmeryn, though Emmeryn is getting better at that.

_ I realized that I’d never been satisfied in my life. _

That’s… wrong.

_...how so? _

You deserve... to be... satisfied.

Beruka deserves to be satisfied as often as she wants. She deserves to be happy with herself. Emmeryn can’t imagine otherwise. Her dearest bodyguard, her constant defender, Little Belle who is distant yet caring all at once, who makes Emmeryn wonder things that she would solve herself.

_ I think I realized that. _

She doesn’t sound entirely sure. Emmeryn doesn’t get it. 

_ And I decided that… I should at least try. _

The two make eye contact. Emmeryn wants to kiss away every tear that Beruka sounds like she could cry right now.

Good. Because…

I am satisfied… with… you.

Emmeryn wishes she could do more.

\---

Beruka takes Emmeryn on a walk, only Emmeryn is in a wheelchair. There are streetlights everywhere, illuminating the path forward. There is grass everywhere around the path, and Emmeryn insisted that she carry the blanket and cushions in her lap. The weight feels nice. She can’t feel below her waist in the way of pleasure and pain, but mute sensations like pressure, she can.

Eventually, Beruka deems a spot nice enough through silent approval, taking the blanket off of Emmeryn’s lap and spreading it along the grass. 

Thank you…

I do so… love… this.

_ It is no problem, Lady Emmeryn. _

Emmeryn can feel her smile, feel her movements hit the ground lighter.

_ I... enjoy it as well. _

I know.

When Emmeryn feels like a burden, she always requests that the two of them lie on a blanket below the stars, because Beruka likes it too. 

Beruka finishes placing the cushions on one side of the blanket. Then, she wraps her arms around Emmeryn’s waist. She is strong where Emmeryn is weak, but she always has been- despite being a full foot shorter. Soon, both are on the blanket. Emmeryn on the cushions. The ground feels hard beneath them, but Emmeryn likes how it feels. Beruka does too- she never insists on cushions. 

Emmeryn always gets a little excited when Beruka lies on her chest, head snug shamelessly between her breasts. It’s the best pressure of all. She almost forgets that it was night until she sees the stars up above her. The stars, the cushions, the grass, Beruka… nothing has ever felt better. Back when she was together, or even now. This is right.

They don’t talk. Emmeryn doesn’t want to hurt things with words. She doesn’t want to risk anything bad. She doesn’t want anything other than this moment. Even if it rains, even if it snows, even if it gets colder than it is now, Beruka is so perfect where she is, eyes closed with a smile. She doesn’t even know how much Emmeryn loves her. Even beyond what she says. She always has.

Emmeryn forgets a lot, but she doesn’t forget how much she loves Beruka.

\---

The two must head inside eventually. Emmeryn hates how much she is reminded of how she feels so little below the waist, how she cannot walk and must be carried back to the wheelchair, about how when she gets inside their house the only things that she can do is sit in chairs and lie in couches and wait for Beruka to do everything. It hurts her heart so dearly. Beruka was supposed to be her bodyguard. She remembers that. It always makes how far she goes feel like an injustice to her. Like she’s punishing herself.

Beruka…

Now Beruka is actually making dinner. A light meal- two salads straight from containers- but enough proof that Beruka morphed into Emmeryn’s caretaker somewhere down the line. The idea tears into Emmeryn, and soon she is breathing shallowly, loudly, to avoid crying. Setting the bags down, Beruka walks towards the chair that Emmeryn sits in.

Rest.

Beruka shakes her head.

_ I cannot. We must eat. _

You work… so hard.

_ I don’t mind, milady. _

Emmeryn’s breath hastens into a quiet cry.

But I do!

Beruka closes her eyes. Emmeryn notices the change. She seems stressed. Beruka is never stressed. 

I'm...

_ Lady Emmeryn? _

I’m… so… sorry… Beruka.

Beruka kneads her forehead. 

_ It isn't your fault. _

You are… unhappy.

Beruka sighs. Emmeryn knows it isn't normal.

Don't… lie.

Please.

Emmeryn bows her head. She places her hand on Beruka's waist slowly. The girl is so small. Emmeryn likes that. It means that Emmeryn can always smell her hair when Beruka pushes her wheelchair.

Beruka sniffles. 

Everybody… lies.

_...Emmeryn. _

They don't think…

That I know.

But I do.

Emmeryn pouts with the outrage of the statues in the courts downtown where she once walked, that she hasn’t seen again since the fallout of the accident.

I'm… slow. But I…

I am not  _ stupid. _

Beruka chokes.

_ No, Emmeryn. You are not. You have never been stupid.  _

Emmeryn feels Beruka take her hand.

_ I'm so sorry.  _

Sorry?

_ I failed you, Emmeryn, and I'm sorry. _

Emmeryn shakes her head.

_ I should have stopped you. _

_ If I had… _

Beruka starts to cry. Beruka has never cried around her. Emmeryn has cried around Beruka. It doesn't feel right that Beruka should cry for what happened to Emmeryn.

Little Belle.

Beruka stops crying for a moment.

Remember… that?

_ You… used to call me that. _

When I was… whole. 

Happy. Full.

And…

_ Emm... _

Emmeryn beams.

I still… am. 

I still am.

Beruka starts to cry again. It isn't right. 

The last time…

She frowns. It is hard to think of. It hurts every time. It reminds her that she isn’t satisfied.

Nothing was missing…

And I walked…

To take pictures...

There.

Do you… remember?

Beruka sniffs.

_ I do not, Emmeryn. _

Emmeryn giggles, quietly, a ghostly little thing.

How… funny. I remember…

And you…forget.

She takes the hand that Beruka is holding and pulls it closer to her chest.

You were there...

She giggles and kisses it. 

_ Emmeryn… _

Emmeryn cranes her neck up to meet her eyes. 

Like that.

Well…

Maybe less…

_...less? _

Beruka is trying to look professional. Yet she is tearful and she is blushing. 

Less… lovely.

Beruka clears her throat. 

_ Lovely. _

You are…

Lovely.

Emmeryn looks away. Looks down. 

I know…

It’s odd. 

She can feel Beruka’s eyes on the side of her head.

_ What is? _

Her nose rankles.

That… it’s me.

You…

She deeply sighs.

Tried… to save… me.

And I…

Didn’t let you.

Beruka kneels in front of Emmeryn. Their faces are very close together now.

_ I’ll always protect you, Lady Emmeryn. _

Always?

_ Always. _

Do… 

Do you love me?

Beruka bows her head. She’s about to cry again. She grips Emmeryn’s hand even tighter. Emmeryn’s free one cups Beruka’s chin, tilts her towards Emmeryn..

_ Will you remember this time? _

I will… try.

But if I forget…

Beruka nods. She takes Emmeryn’s other hand. She wears the same rings as Emmeryn.

Please… remind me.

_ I will. I don’t want you to forget. _

Emmeryn won’t. Sometimes she does. Sometimes she just likes to hear Beruka say it.

_ I… love you, Emm. With all of my heart. _

I love…

I love…

She meets Beruka’s eyes. They are melted beneath tears. They love Emmeryn almost as much as Beruka herself does. 

They’re the same eyes she had on their wedding day.

Emmeryn will never forget them.

Beruka did not cry, but she was unforgettable.

I love you… Little… Belle.

She kisses Beruka on the lips for a moment. It is all the breath that she can afford, but she loves her Little Belle...

With all… that I am.

\---

Emmeryn leans against the balcony of the fourth story patio. It’s the last moment she is together. Beruka says she’ll get better, but she’ll never be as good as this moment, where she is together in ways she only knows the loss of now. 

In the memory, Beruka notices her, as she always does. “Lady Emmeryn,” she breathes. “Don’t.”

Emmeryn chuckles, distantly weary in a way she masks as amusement. She loves her wife, but when she becomes her bodyguard first, it’s a bit chafing. She sees the camera and its operator sitting across from the balcony, and she sees her family walking towards her, Lissa at rapid speed, Chrom with forceful, even steps. Emmeryn would like for Beruka to join her, but she knows that this is to be a photo of the Mercer immediate family and… oh, the officials were still doing their best to mask their distaste with Emmeryn marrying a woman. 

“I’ll be fine,” she mouths.

She used to take Beruka for granted. Yet Beruka still loves her to this day. The two lie in bed together. Beruka knows which spot on Emmeryn’s chest is hers. She is a small little Belle, she does not hurt her fragile bones, and even if she did, Emmeryn never wants to let a second go by where Beruka does not feel loved again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Emmeryn is someone I always challenged myself to write. I feared messing her up, but I was helped by the fact that Beruka seemed... very right for her. I hope I did her justice.
> 
> Title is drawn from Tomorrow's Song from Olafur Arnalds. The song playing in the story is Anvil by Lorn. I can totally see modern Beruka being a fan of lofi RainyMood electronica.


End file.
